REMEMBERING MY MOTHER
TADESSE ADELA
ADDIS ABABA, ETHIOPIA

(GIRL SINGING)

ADELA:
Shy and slim, from her plastic sandals to her braided hair, Etenesh Alemu looks younger than her 12 years. 
But then she has endured much more than most girls her age. 
It is now 4 years since she got the dreadful news that no child should ever have to hear.

ETENESH (VOICE OVER):
I was sitting and having dinner whilst my mother was ill and looked in on her.  She was still alive.  A few moments later my grandmother looked in and she was dead.  At noon the next day she was buried.  I know she died of AIDS because I went with her when she got tested.

ADELA:
In Ethiopia a death from AIDS remains something that many families still try to hide. 
It was a huge challenge to Etenesh, then, when she had to resume her studies.

ETENESH (VOICER OVER):
At School all the students used to ask me if my mother had died of AIDS or not.  It made me cry because I knew the truth.  Now, at last, they have stopped asking me.   My mother said to me: “Do not think I am lost and start looking for me when I have gone.”  It hurt so much, especially when the other children asked me about it.

ADELA:
After her mother’s death, Etenesh moved in with her Grandmother Tirunesh Reta.  Taking on a 12-year-old when you are in your 60s is a huge challenge. 
Tirunesh also had to field questions from her curious granddaughter about her parents.

TIRUNESH (VOICE OVER):
I can’t tell her very much and that makes her miss her mother.  Sometimes she is so upset that she stops eating and this means she will not grow.  At least she is healthy. 

ADELA:
Ethiopia may have as many as 100,000 orphaned children like Etenesh who are trying to come to terms with losing their parents. 
Relatives can often help them psychologically, but some organizations are using a new approach: the Memory Book. 
Zenebech Assfaw works for the Hiwot Resource Center for orphans and other HIV affected children in Ayertena.

ZENEBECH (VOICE OVER):
Whilst they are alive, the parents will write it so that the children can remember them.  For those children that do not have parents or who were taking care of their parents while they were sick, they have written it themselves to keep. This Diary of Remembrance is very detailed.  Small details may not seem relevant now, but may become more important later. The diary has a plastic cover. On the first page there is a title that says “OUR FAMILY HISTORY” on the second page there is information about the family’s religion and beliefs, so it will be a good way for this little girl to remember her mother.

ADELA:
But will this somewhat morbid memoir really help the children deal with their loss? 
Sister Tibebe Meko is the manager of the Hiwot Project.

SISTER TIBEBE (VOICE OVER):
The Diary of Remembrance helps the Children to remember and understand what happened to their parents so that they can take care of themselves in the future. Also, if the parents had anything to leave their children, it becomes a public record.  This is important since, nowadays some relatives that come in to help out decide to take the children’s inheritance for themselves.  You know the diaries can be useful for everyone, not just those affected by AIDS.  We are always walking with death by our side, so it is a good habit to develop to let everyone know what you have left for your children and so that they can remember you.

ADELA:
And for Etenesh the memory book seems to have done much more than simply help her cope with the trauma of losing both parents. 

ETENESH (VOICE OVER):
Yes, it is true.  I will study, I will wash my own uniform then I will wash myself. After that I will play then I will watch television, study and go to sleep.   I will become a writer.

(GIRL SINGING)